but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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