Can i not drive my cunt home
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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