I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
