the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
