He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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