Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
