Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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