Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
