I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
