I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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