Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
