He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
