One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
