with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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