I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
