Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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