dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
