are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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