i think my tv is drunk
i just google imaged poop.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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