the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
only you would photoshop your dick
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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