I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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