Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
