What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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