Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
