I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
