when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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