brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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