I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
