okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
MIDGETS
????
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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