I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
