We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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