i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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