How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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