I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize