C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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