no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
