I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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