yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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