you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
