saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
