I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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