Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
