He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
