I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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