just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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