I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
