Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
