if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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