Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
