There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
