Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
