What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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