The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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