question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize