FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
