Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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