We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
