she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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