i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
