he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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