Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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