Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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