i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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