He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Blow job season was short but glorious.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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