i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
