how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
