my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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